I've started studying and using the Love & Logic parenting. I really like the concept of letting children have as many "natural consequences" as possible. But I've run into a dilemna - What do you do for fighting. Lately - this is the scenario: Jonathan bosses and demands all the cool stuff until Gabe hits him. I can't decide what a natural consequence for Jonathan should be. Gabe can't talk yet....so I'm stuck. Please give me any ideas that have worked for you.
If you're not familiar with Love and Logic - here's an example of natural consequences from Jim Fay's latest email:
Like many 12-year-old boys, wearing gloves in even a cold Wisconsin winter was not "cool." In his attempt to avoid the temptation to do so, he "lost" them-they were nowhere to be found. In the winter, about his only source of income is snow removal. This particular year in Wisconsin it was cold with record snow. On one occasion Donovan was to shovel and I "noticed" he didn't have any gloves. He said he didn't need any; however, the temperature was below 20 degrees and the steel handle on the snowblower was the same. After about five minutes, Donovan asked if he could use my gloves. I acknowledged the fact that cold hands are miserable and that although I would not lend my gloves, I would rent them to him for fifty cents. When I paid Donovan for his work, the envelope had a bit of math on it: $10.00 for the work he did on the driveway minus fifty cents for the glove rental. That was on a Sunday. Interestingly enough, the next day Donovan "found" his gloves. One was in his school locker, the other was under his bed. He had this same pair ready for the rest of the season.
David and Summer's Wedding
2 months ago
2 comments:
I think that you have to intervene with fighting. For Brooke I just take away what is important to her. (like wearing her dress). This week I hung up a plate with a happy face on one side and a sad face on another and if she could keep the happy side showing then we could do fun things....and eat fun things. But we can't watch shows or play, or drink juice if she doesn't keep the happy face up. She has had fun with it. It will probably wear off after another day or two. But sometimes it can help if they can see a picture of the mood they are creating. So for fighting...when more than one children are getting the natural consequences....I would say intervene. I think it is also helpful to role play with them what would be the right way to ask for a toy. setting the timer for 5 minutes and then trading. Anyway these are things that help Brooke. Good luck. You are a great mom. Love ya!
Thia,
If you find a way to keep two boys from fighting, I want to be the first one you tell. Good luck is my only advice. You have them for another 18 years. Just kidding. The only thing I've heard is when kids are fighting over a toy, don't put them in time out, put the toy in time out. Your boys are so cute.
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